the point of it all

When I first started blogging, several years ago, I poured out my emotions into my posts. I didn't really have a knack for articulating them eloquently, but I appreciated that about myself--my idgaf attitude. The insecurities I have today most definitely existed back then, but I effectively kept them contained and tame while focusing on the expression of my interests. 

I am not going to link anything now, but a couple of you have been with me since my baby blogger years. I'm talking before Rose et Violet, which was a lesson on its own. The summer before my sophomore year of high school, I discovered the niche world of fashion bloggers. Rumi, Rebecca, Susie, Arabelle (currently active here), Tavi (currently EIC of Rookie, among other things), Jane, and Alix were among the more prominent ones that were slowly making a place for themselves in the fashion world. I noticed that they had more intel on and access to the industry than the common fashion-lover, which was enough to make a young me want to be a part of that experience. What really fueled my drive, however, was their impeccable sense of style and how individualized each of their sartorial preferences were. Even when they were being trendy, they managed not to lose themselves. Super inspired, I started a blog of my own, and it was a very unapologetic expression of my mind, with a large focus on fashion and music. 

Since the digital media aspect of life in general was still fairly low-key then (at least, compared to the heights it has reached today), my fashion post content prioritized fashion shows and editorial spreads.  Slowly my interest transitioned to street style. And then, I stopped blogging. I took a break. 

Then Rose et Violet came into existence, and after another hiatus and a split, Sampz and Such came to be... 

My history as a blogger seems pretty irrelevant in the context of nothing, but lately my insecurities have hit an all time high. It's come to the point where my passion for all things fashion has become questionable. I am no longer as intrigued as I once was, and if I am, it is for the wrong reasons. Instead of wishing to stay informed and educated about the fashion industry, I only seem to be interested in one-upping my peers in terms of style. Some of this may be, in part, because of the fewer responsibilities I had in high school, and the greater time and space to which I could dedicate reading up on the happenings of the industry. But I hate chalking things up to a lack of time, because proper management and enough determination can allow for anything to happen, especially considering all the resources that I am fortunate enough to have within hand's reach. 

Writing all this was less of a means to educate y'all on my origins in terms of the blogging and more of a way to remind myself why I started blogging. I mean, I used to be the girl who had no inhibitions wearing this outfit. Where has my confidence gone? 

I was just re-reading some rebuttals to the notorious Suzy Menkes piece about peacocking at Fashion Week, and they got me thinking that (among other thoughts that might be discussed in future posts) while everything seems fairly pointless at this moment right now, there is a reason to the madness. I should not be ashamed of who I am, what clothes I wear, what I can afford or cannot afford, what I know or don't know...I should be proud of myself and my achievements so far because inhibitions cloud creativity, and creativity is key to success in this universe (yikes, that was a very generalized statement, but I'm going to leave it...). 

In any case, when these photos were taken, I was so intensely happy. Although I wish I hadn't been such a stress ball during my vacation, I can safely say I had an amazing time in India and that I miss it very much. So much that I'm tearing up at the thought of it--and it's extremely embarrassing because I'm sitting in the middle of a very busy campus cafeteria as I write this. Yep, I'm that random person, quietly crying to herself and trying to disguise it as allergies/a cold. 

Shilparamam chikankari top, Forever 21 pants, General Bazaar earrings